Wednesday, February 10, 2010

i don't know if i'll ever be able to say what's on my mind. i keep thinking it but it still won't come out. i was determined yesterday that by the other night i would get everything figured out ... but i failed to do that. it's weird, how when i'm not in the moment i feel everything i want to express ... but when i'm in the situation i don't feel the same way. it's like everything vanishes, temporarily. then when i'm out of it it tends to always come back again. it's like having an appetite that never seems to get satisfied, like a mosquito bite, like a reoccurring dream, like a nagging toothache, a burden.

i'm still confused about everything that's going on in my mind right now. i guess you can say i'm still in denial right now. i'm so hesitant because i don't know what will come out of it or if i'll lose someone in the mixxup. "/