I'm Kanney, if you haven't figured that out already; I'm just an 18 year old girl from California who comes here to talk about life among other things. If you need to contact me for whatever reason then email me at: kanneybby@gmail.com
Friday, February 19, 2010
at wits end @ 3:10 AM
i been feeling pretty lonely lately ... like there's a space i can't seem to fill anymore. i don't really feel satisfied nor happy about this situation. but i've been trying to be content. i'm well aware the source of my problem. i just don't really know if i'm trying to deal with it just for the hell of it? not so much for me or what i want. on top of feeling lonely, i've been feeling shitty too. go figure, right? and of course like a lot of other things ... i feel like i can't talk to anybody about either of this. i feel like i'm backed up against the wall.
when i think about it, it makes me mad. why can't i speak on behalf of my emotions? why am i confined by silence? i get this sudden urge .. my inner me suddenly wants to get the best of me ..
"SAY IT!" ,
"SPEAK." ,
"TELL THEM WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND." ,
"GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST."
but i always end up ignoring those requests that i know will relieve me of what i feel is holding me back. what is disabling me to fill that emptiness. that familiar lack of being. not with me, but of it. i know i'm not making much sense now ... but i know ... i know. but i'm going to try and get some sleep.
when i think about it, it makes me mad. why can't i speak on behalf of my emotions? why am i confined by silence? i get this sudden urge .. my inner me suddenly wants to get the best of me ..
"SAY IT!" ,
"SPEAK." ,
"TELL THEM WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND." ,
"GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST."
but i always end up ignoring those requests that i know will relieve me of what i feel is holding me back. what is disabling me to fill that emptiness. that familiar lack of being. not with me, but of it. i know i'm not making much sense now ... but i know ... i know. but i'm going to try and get some sleep.