Saturday, August 22, 2009

what? why? i don't understand ... this is a joke right? no .. clearly this isn't. so you're telling me that .... oh. i see. so pretty much you're saying that i ... hahaha .. why am i laughing right now? no, stop. this isn't funny. stop laughing. STOP. DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT WAS SAID. they don't see you .. so basically they see you as ... yeah ... so then what am i doi .. ? i don't know. where does this leave me? feeling stupid. yeah, i'm stupid. i should've known better, right? yeah .. why didn't i? .. yeah .. i wasn't thinking. you sound like you seen this coming? what, you did? why didn't you stop me? you chose the risk. i was taking a risk? what .. clearly i .. oh. :( just be careful with your decisions. i was trying to be ... i was so determined this time. maybe this just isn't something you should be doing. maybe this whole ... illusion of exaggerated principles that clearly just ... doesn't do any good for anybody because in the end we all just ... no don't say it, i know where you're going with this and i don't want to hear it. all things can't end that way, okay. i have to have faith. i'm letting you get in the way of things. don't say that. without me you'd be living on sleeves.

hm. that's how i imagine my heart & mind' would communicate. overall i believe my mind's my strongest asset .. but my heart definitely plays a part in the decisions i make. as a symbolic reference i made the speech of my mind bold. because i believe i have a bold mind. and my heart's speech i left normal. because it's slightly inferior to the power of my mind. (hah this would be a cool animation or play or something ... ) idk. i was having an alright day up until about two hours ago ... so maybe that's what was going on inside. i'm going to lay down.
peace.